A new dating app, Sonder, has a deliberately annoying sign-up process (and it’s working)

A new dating app called Sonder is taking an unusual approach to online dating: it intentionally makes the sign-up process difficult and time-consuming.

While most apps aim for quick onboarding to maximize user growth, Sonder is doing the opposite—adding friction to filter out casual users. Surprisingly, the strategy is working better than expected.

The app is gaining attention for proving that in some cases, less convenience can lead to better user engagement and quality.

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Why Sonder’s Sign-Up Is So Complicated

Unlike typical dating apps, Sonder requires users to go through a lengthy and detailed onboarding process.

This may include:

• Answering deep personality questions
• Writing thoughtful profile responses
• Verifying identity more strictly
• Spending more time completing the profile

The goal is simple: only serious users will complete the process.

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The Psychology Behind “Intentional Friction”

Sonder’s strategy is based on a powerful psychological principle—effort increases perceived value.

When users invest more time and energy:

• They take the platform more seriously
• They are less likely to behave casually or irresponsibly
• They are more committed to meaningful interactions

This creates a higher-quality community compared to swipe-heavy apps.

How It’s Different From Tinder and Bumble

Most popular dating apps focus on speed and volume:

• Quick sign-ups
• Swipe-based matching
• Instant gratification

Sonder flips this model by focusing on:

• Slower onboarding
• Deeper connections
• Intentional user behavior

Instead of maximizing the number of users, it aims to maximize the quality of interactions.

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Why It’s Actually Working

Despite the “annoying” sign-up process, Sonder is seeing positive results:

• More engaged users
• Higher-quality matches
• Lower churn rates
• Better user satisfaction

By filtering out people who aren’t serious, the platform creates a more focused and intentional dating experience.

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The Bigger Trend: Quality Over Quantity

Sonder’s approach reflects a growing shift in digital platforms:

• Moving away from mass user growth
• Prioritizing meaningful engagement
• Designing for long-term value

This trend is being seen not just in dating apps, but also in:

• Social media platforms
• Professional networks
• Community-based apps

Users are increasingly looking for depth over convenience.

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What This Means for the Future of Dating Apps

If Sonder’s success continues, it could influence how future dating apps are designed.

Possible changes include:

• More detailed onboarding processes
• Stronger identity verification
• Focus on compatibility over swiping
• AI-driven deeper matching systems

The industry may shift toward creating better connections rather than more connections.

Final Thoughts

Sonder’s deliberately annoying sign-up process challenges one of the biggest assumptions in tech: that easier is always better.

By adding friction, the app is creating a more meaningful and intentional user experience—and users are responding positively.

In a world of instant gratification, Sonder shows that sometimes, making things harder can actually make them better.

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FAQ

What is Sonder?

Sonder is a new dating app that uses a long and detailed sign-up process to attract serious users.

Why is the sign-up process difficult?

It’s designed to filter out casual users and create a more committed community.

Does this approach actually work?

Yes, it has led to higher engagement and better-quality matches.

How is it different from Tinder?

Unlike swipe-based apps, Sonder focuses on deeper profiles and meaningful connections.

Why do users accept a harder process?

Because effort increases commitment and perceived value.

Could other apps adopt this model?

Possibly. If successful, it may influence future dating app design.